Emily Larimer, MSN, BA, RN and TJ Wilcox-Olson, MHS, RN

VA Portland Health Care System, Portland, Oregon

NOVA Chapter 332

        Emily Larimer                           TJ Wilcox-Olson                            

April is National Donate Life Month. During this time Americans are encouraged to register to give life-saving gifts through organ, eye, and tissue donation. We offer this explanation through statistics.. There are more than 107,000 men, women and children waiting for transplants as of February 2021. Approximately 85% of these individuals are waiting for a kidney. In 2020, there were 39,000 transplants performed. Only 3 in 1,000 leave this earth in a way that allows for organ donation. Every 9 minutes another individual is added to the waiting list.

Ultimately, one donor can save the lives of up to 8 people and through tissue donation can impact and heal 75 lives through tissue donation. These gifts not only impact the recipients but also the family.

In honor of Donate Life Month we are sharing insights of a donor mom: Emily Larimer and a recipient daughter: TJ Wilcox-Olson.

Emily is a Veteran and was employed as a VA nurse from 2007-2015. As a nurse at the VA, she was a member of NOVA and most recently rejoined as a community member in 2021. She is the mom of an organ donor. Her son, Nehemiah, offered life-saving gifts of both his kidneys, pancreas, liver and offered sight to two recipients through the gift of his corneas following a tragic accident and his passing in 2015.

TJ Wilcox-Olson has been a VA nurse for 13 years and is the daughter of an organ recipient. Her mother, a VA nurse for over 35 years, received the gift of a liver donation in 2019.

How did you and your family become involved with organ donation?

Emily: I marked the box on my driver’s license as a youth in the state of Michigan. I had no idea the impact this decision could make until 2015. That year the earth suddenly stopped on its axis. My husband and I were told our son had been in a terrible accident. We rushed to the scene. I met the eyes of a policeman in the intersection while frantically scanning for a glimpse of my son. He offered a spark of strength and responded Nehemiah was in good hands as EMT caregivers were working to regain his heart rhythm in the ambulance. We followed behind the ambulance to the hospital and prayed for a miracle. The miracle(s) which followed were not as we had prayed for. Miracles, instead, occurred through our son’s selfless act of donation.

Nehemiah too, had checked his box 6 months prior on his 18th birthday. Several months later, through a sequence of grieving and hope, we received a most incredible gift-the arrival of my son’s liver recipient. He flew in to meet us alongside his wife. It was a humbling moment as I took in the realization. Within him lived an aspect of my adventurous son. This most thoughtful gentleman offered his own story. Previously at life’s tipping point, on the top of the transplant waiting list, he now stood in front of us as a refreshed life, full of color and kindness, no longer struggling in the yellow hue of liver failure. Gratitude was brilliantly shared through the sparkle in his eyes. Unbeknownst to me, this was one of many miracles we had prayed for while driving behind the ambulance. That’s the start of our involvement with donation.

TJ: I have long supported organ donation and marked the box to be a donor when I applied for my first driver’s license. It is the ultimate gift to provide to someone. I had the honor of seeing this gift in action through the choices Emily’s family made and the celebration of life that came from a very difficult time in their lives. This reinforced my decision to be a donor. My attention to donation grew even stronger when my mother’s health was affected by Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency which leads to serious lung and/or liver disease and she was placed on the transplant list.

What were your biggest fears related to donation?

Emily: Once I had met Nehemiah’s recipient, I had an epiphany. As a nurse and a mom, living out a mingling of hope and grief, what if I joined the mission? As in a role in donation, perhaps I have, within my heart and skills, what it takes to live donation as a nurse with an Organ Procurement Organization (OPO). Here’s where the fear snuck in. Fear might be too strong a word. I didn’t know how to measure my heart’s ache against its strength. Was I capable to face, with greatest compassion, another mom in her moment of darkest brokenness, in the capacity that my own grief could surface? There were no guarantees, except back to the prayer for a miracle. Out of the blue sky, an opening for a role in western SD appeared. I applied to work at LifeSource (the OPO in my region) and was embraced to join the team. I have been in this role of Clinical Hospital Coordinator now for nearly four years. This biggest fear still surfaces occasionally, on my ability to face grief which mirrors my own. And each time, the miracle I prayed for years ago surfaces and I extend the hope of donation alongside families facing their own donation journey.

TJ: Once someone is added to the transplant list the waiting game begins. There is a lot of fear that your family member may not survive until a match is found. Once matched, there is then fear that the organ will not be able to be used. Until the surgery is over there is always doubt mixed in with a great deal of hope. And then there is fear that it won’t work! The first year involves a lot of change, a lot of lab work. Making it to that 1-year mark was a great relief? That fear also extends to the donor family. They provided an amazing gift and we all want it to be a success. There is a fear of somehow letting them down if it doesn’t work.

Have you met the organ recipients or donor family?

Emily: I’ve met my son’s liver recipient. I haven’t had the chance to meet his other recipients.  Hopefully one day. I’m eager to. TJ’s mom is a shining light I look forward to meeting one day. I appreciate following her story through TJ’s support.

TJ: My mom’s donor remains anonymous but our family is grateful to his or her family for choosing the gift of donation.

How can nurses help spread the word about registering to become a donor?

Emily: I’d recommend searching out and meeting your OPO liaison. Of the 57 OPOs in the U.S., there is one OPO designated to support your VA and they would be honored to hear from you. Together, work to set up a plan to spread the word. Set up a donor sign-up, create a 5K, lead a campaign, request a Mayor Proclamation for a Donate Life Day, share in conjunction with your school or faith institution, and share stories.

TJ: Sharing stories is so important. Stories really put a face to donation. It goes from being this ethereal idea to this real person, to this real life that has been impacted. Take opportunities to learn more about how lives have been impacted by both giving and receiving these gifts.  

How can nurses grow donation within the VA?

Emily: And as a nurse in the hospital setting, your leadership in the donor process is a unique opportunity. In partnership with your OPO, nurse awareness is vital to the effective timing and initiation of a donation referral. Depending on your role--participating in a Donation Committee, guiding policy updates in alignment with Partnership Agreements, implementing donation education for your VA or VISN, or supporting a family donation discussion by your presence—each strategic action multiplies the impact of our donation process excellence. Other focuses, not as specific to one’s role may include encouraging VA led Donate Life Month activities, participating in a Donate Life flag raising ceremony, or supporting an honor walk process to offer visible alignment with the donor and his/her family.

Together we can grow donation within our VAs. In our communities, we can encourage everyone to put into action the support of donation by signing up as donors and sharing this decision with family and friends.

Nehemiah Larimer

Nehemiah Larimer